We met September 2010 and were dating by October. We were in his old Jeep out near Mt. Rose, leaving Rutter’s when he asked me “do you wanna be my girl?”
Two months later, we’re texting on my way home from work -bad, I know! I was at a red light, honest! I’m at the light in Red Lion, headed up the hill past Sheetz and the car dealerships when he says, “I bet you’ll be a beautiful mother.”
(don’t ask me how I remember all that, because I barely remember what I had to eat yesterday!)
4 months later, we’re kissing in the kitchen of our 1st apartment.
That was 5 years ago.
We didn’t really “try” or “plan”. There was no tracking, no calculating. That’s kind of how our relationship has always been, I guess. We just kind of fell for each other one night and hit the ground running.
And I remember the look in his eyes when he said, “I don’t care if we have a baby!”.. I cried and happily agreed. We decided to let it happen when it was supposed to happen.
5 months later I’m surprising him with a little “Daddy’s Survival Kit” tool box filled with baby things <3
We both thought we were going to have a boy. Wished and hoped for a little boy if I’m being honest. Mike’s family is all boys, me and my mom don’t have a great relationship, and all those old wives tales said boy. We counted down the days until our 20 week appointment, and we showed up giddy as ever. 2 nights before I had a dream the doctor told us it was a girl. Throughout this pregnancy, a few people had asked if I had any dreams of the baby’s gender. They say what you dream is usually what you’re having… The doctor took her time. She took all the measurements first, asked us what names we had picked out. Finally, she said, “Are you ready to know what you’re having?!”
“A little Adelynn!”, she said, and my eyes shot straight to Mike. “Holy crap! He’s got to be so disappointed! I let him down… His little hunting buddy, little tractor guy! Pink, dresses and baby dolls, say what?!?!”, I thought to myself.
“Are you ok, Poot?”, I asked.
“Of course I am!”, he replied.
Now we’re about 6 weeks or less away from meeting our little girl and could not be more thrilled that we’re having a little princess- girls hunt too, right? 😉 We’re both at the “we’re tired of waiting” stage and just want her to be here. I think part of that “tired” is Mike is tired of me nesting, and I’m tired of becoming more and more uncomfortable.
I know no one ever said pregnancy is a breeze, but my gosh. This is literally the hardest thing I have ever done, until I go into labor, that is! If we’re being honest, I don’t really feel like myself. My energy level is down the drain. My enthusiasm about anything other than food and sleep is “eh”. I can count on my hands how many times I’ve ever gotten a headache and cramps in my entire life- I usually never feel not good, so this is really knocking me off my feet. I’ve had a smooth, easy pregnancy and it’s still been hard. My temper is a short fuse with the match already lit, just waiting to make connection with the fuse. I can literally feel my blood boil sometimes. Sleeping is becoming more and more difficult. I’m a back sleeper, and I can feel pressure when I try to lay on my back. When I get comfortable on my right side, then try to flip to my left, it pulls things in my stomach as I switch her weight from one side of my body to the other. My hips are sore when I wake up from laying on my sides all night. Sometimes my hands are numb when I wake up. I can feel her kick my bladder, back and stomach. My favorite food, a good ol’ cheeseburger, is the LAST thing I want right now. I prefer Dr. Pepper, cereal and pancakes/pastries. I NEVER eat pancakes!!!!
But then she’ll give me a little kick, like she’s saying “hey mama!” She’ll dance around while I’m editing. And that makes is all so so worth it. At first it was weird feeling her move, and now if I don’t feel her, I’m constantly thinking about her. “What are you doing in there? Are you ok?” I try to picture what she’ll look like. I think about us playing outside, taking Jeep rides, being best friends. I see her and Mike together, and how wonderful he’s going to be with her. I see her bouncing curls (or stick straight hair like her dad) running out to him when he gets home from work, arms wide open, so excited to see her daddy and my heart just. melts. to. pieces. We are so close to the “reward” that we can taste it. Bring it on. Sweet Adelynn, you are more than welcome to join us whenever you’re ready <3
I realize how blessed we are to be having a baby. I know how lucky I am to be so uncomfortable. Carrying our child is one of the most wonderful gifts I’ve ever received. For me, having a this little girl is like a clean slate, a 2nd chance. I get to start this whole “mother-daughter relationship” all over and write our own story. I’m not very religious. I believe in God, but I don’t go to church often… When I thought I needed a boy so I’d never have to experience all that again, God said, “You need a little girl so you can experience it all again, the right way. And maybe it’ll help you understand your mom more. It’ll help you do right between you and your daughter, and maybe, just maybe, it’ll make it all right between you and your mom.” Or at least that’s what I hope He’s trying to tell me.
Her room is painted a pale yellow so she always remembers to “live in the sunshine”. There are hints of wildflowers around her room, so she remembers to always be free and follow her heart. White furniture is set up. Decor is on the wall. Clothes are put away. We rearranged our bathroom closet to fit her things. Rearranged the kitchen cabinets to fit her things. Rearranged our closet to store all the diapers we’ve got so far. One more baby shower to go, and just a few more things to grab after that. We’re more and more “prepared” with each passing week, but as we get closer and closer, we’re finding ourselves with one main worry: are we going to be good parents? I’m sure that’s a common thought among first time parents. My mom and I don’t have the best of relationships, or at least the relationship I hoped we’d have, so that’s where my worry comes from. Even though I’ll try everything in my power for it to not be, will it be the same with me and Addie? Mike doesn’t have much baby experience- let alone raising a baby GIRL, so I think that’s where his worry comes from. Together, we’ll find a way to make it work and we will do the best we can. That’s all you really can do, right?
So, here’s to the next 6 (or less!) weeks as “just the two of us”. I love you Michael, and I can’t wait to start this journey with you <3
maternity photos by: Erin Elaine Photography
Outdoor Show on Valentine’s Day.. Pregnant and didn’t know it!
4 months pregnant in Colorado!
7 mile hike on the “difficult” trail thru Arches National Park in Utah! Doctor not approved!
Swollen fingers after the hike!
Haaaaddddd tooooo!! <3
15 week “bump” hahaha
Cupcakes for our gender reveal party!
Girls Rule! Hahaha
Addie’s Godmother, Aunt Harm! My longest bestest friend, ever!!
Mike bought us matching necklaces <3
1 year anniversary <3
1st of 2 baby showers! 2nd is this weekend!
Addie’s Aunties <3
Addie’s aunt by blood 😉
Maddie thought I’m much bigger than I really am hahahhaa